


Making It Right

by 0nce_Upon_My_Story



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Ben Solo Deserved Better, Ben Solo Doesn't Die, Ben Solo Lives, Bendemption, Canon Divergence - Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Fix-It, Kylo Ren Redemption, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Post-TRoS, Post-The Rise of Skywalker, Proper Bendemption, Redemption, Rey and Ben Deserved Better, Reylo - Freeform, Reylo fix-it, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Fix-It, The Rise of Skywalker Fix-it, The TROS Redemption Arc Just Wasn't Good Enough, Tros fix-it, redemption isn't easy, so I fixed it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:48:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22360609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0nce_Upon_My_Story/pseuds/0nce_Upon_My_Story
Summary: The thing about redemption is it’s not easy. It’s hard. Probably one of the hardest things Ben has ever tried to do. But do it he will, because he knows it will be worth his while a thousand times over in the end.Or, the redemption arc I wanted to see for Ben Solo.(The title is the author's idea of being clever, and the author's sister's idea of a bad pun. Either way, in this fic Ben Solo will try his utmost to make right what he did wrong, and I will try my utmost to make right what TROS did wrong.)
Relationships: Finn/Rose Tico (background), Poe Dameron/Zorii Bliss (background), Rey/Ben Solo
Comments: 18
Kudos: 46





	1. Kef Bir

**Author's Note:**

> **After seeing TROS for the third time, I decided that what made me most furious about the movie was the lack of a proper redemption arc for Ben Solo. Yes, he gets a “poetic” end to his story – doing what Vader couldn’t and saving the woman he loves, and dying a hero like Anakin Skywalker. But what he loses in the process is the chance to actually atone for all the terrible things he did.**
> 
> **What I wanted for Ben was a “proper” redemption arc, such as the one Prince Zuko has in _Avatar The Last Airbender._ Zuko’s arc is defined by a genuine desire to change and make right everything he did wrong, and also by a real struggle to gain the trust of his former enemies. It’s not at all quick or easy for Zuko, but he pushes through, and because of it becomes a much richer, more meaningful character.**
> 
> **That’s what I wanted to see for Ben in TROS. I _wanted_ him to struggle, and really fight for the Resistance’s trust, and come out stronger and more mature because of it. In my opinion, this would have been a far more _meaningful_ ending for the character, who has always been so defined by struggle and conflict. **
> 
> **The more I think about it, the more I think we (and Ben Solo) were seriously short-changed by TROS. Ben _deserved_ a proper redemption arc with a truly satisfying emotional ending, the kind that you can only get after really working and struggling for it.**
> 
> **So for my third draft of the TROS fix-it, I will be trying my very best to give Ben Solo the redemption arc I think he deserved. This fic will probably also be a form of therapy for me, so I can finally stop bothering all my family and friends with my complaints about how TROS should have ended, and at the same time make myself feel better over how awfully Ben Solo’s character arc ended.**
> 
> **If you’ve actually read the entirety of this long and rather indignant author’s note, then you’re either extraordinarily patient or a fellow passionate advocate for #BenSoloDeservedBetter. Either way, _thank you,_ from the bottom of my heart, and I really hope you enjoy this story.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **We start on Kef Bir.**

Kylo pointed his lightsaber at Rey, the crash of a wave on the walkway behind them a thundering accompaniment to the pounding of his heart and the rushing of blood in his ears. 

Rey glared up at him, eyes blazing with defiance even in the face of death, and he took a moment just to look at her before he brought the lightsaber down. All their duels through all the years had led to this moment, and yet he found himself hesitating, reluctant to finally end things.

It was a waste, that was all. That was why he was reluctant. Not because he had _compassion_ for the girl like Snoke had suggested. 

It was just such a waste.

He gritted his teeth and began to swing down his lightsaber –

And then all the air left his lungs as he felt a warm, familiar presence.

_Mother._

“Ben,” said Leia, her voice echoing through his mind as warm and comforting as ever.

“It’s not too late,” his mother said, and he was frozen listening to her voice. Memories flooded unbidden into his mind, memories of Leia hugging him close and whispering how much she loved him.

“I love you, Ben,” she said now, just as she would when he was a little boy, and he felt the warmth of her presence in the Force wrap around him like a tender embrace.

“Come home,” Leia said, and he could see her in his mind, her arms open and love pouring from her to him.

She gave him a last loving smile, a mother’s pride filling her brown gaze. The echo of her last words to him whispered through the Force – _“come home.”_

Then her warm presence faded from the Force, and he felt as if his soul had been torn in two.

He looked down, and saw the red lightsaber he hadn’t even realised he had dropped sunk deep into his stomach. 

His eyes found Rey, her face twisted with rage and hatred as she ran him through with his own lightsaber.

But even as she struck the killing blow, he saw she sensed Leia’s passing. 

“Leia,” she whispered. Guilt, horror and grief replaced the rage in her gaze, and she sank to the ground beside him.

For a moment, all was silent, as though the galaxy itself mourned the passing of Leia Organa.

Then, through the tears welling in the brown-green depths of Rey’s eyes, he saw resolve. She placed her palm flat on his chest, her eyes closing with concentration but her face never losing the heart-wrenching expression of loss. 

Kylo watched her, unable to speak, Leia’s last words refusing to leave his head.

_It’s not too late._

_I love you._

_Come home._

_**Ben.**_

He sucked in a sharp breath as he felt the jagged wound in his chest knit shut. Half-incredulous, he looked at Rey, finding her with her eyes still shut in concentration.

She opened her eyes and stood back, more grief than he had ever imagined possible etched onto her beautiful face.

“I did want to take your hand,” she told him, and her voice was _shattered._ “Ben’s hand.”

Then she turned and ran, and a wave crashed onto the walkway between them before he could so much as find his feet.

He watched, helpless, as his ship rose into the air and left Kef Bir.

“Hey, kid,” said a voice behind him, a voice so painfully familiar that it hurt him just to hear it.

“I miss you, son,” said Han Solo.

“Your son is dead,” he said raggedly. 

“No,” his father said, half-smiling. “Kylo Ren is dead. My son is alive.” 

“You’re just a memory.” 

_“Your_ memory,” Han reminded him softly. “Come home.”

The echo of his mother’s words was just too much, and Kylo broke. “ It’s too late. She’s gone.” 

Pain flashed across his father’s face, and his voice was heavy as he nodded. “Your mother’s gone. But what she stood for – what she fought for – that’s not gone.” 

“Ben,” Han prompted, voice full of love and encouragement.

He drew in a shuddering breath. “I know what I have to do, but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it.” 

He held out his lightsaber, just as he had that awful day on Starkiller Base, and his father smiled, reaching out a hand to brush his face. 

The same words, the same actions. But this time, he knew it would end differently.

“You do,” Han said with all the love and pride of a proud father.

“Dad…” Ben started, voice choked with emotion. But Han just smiled. 

“I know.” 

Ben turned and threw the lightsaber into the waves, pitching it as far away as he could. And when he turned back, Han was gone.

But Ben smiled into the wind and waves. _Thank you, Mother,_ he thought, and for just a second he thought he saw Leia’s smile, white against the stormy sky.

The illusion faded, but his mother’s parting gift lingered. Han Solo’s memory seemed fresher than ever in his mind, and his parents’ last words gave him the strength he needed to reach out with the Force and summon Rey’s skimmer to him. 

It wouldn’t do to get him off-planet, but he remembered his father’s lessons on ship repairs well enough that he was reasonably confident he could cobble something together with it and some TIE ruins he found in the old Death Star.

It wouldn’t be easy, he reflected, looking down at the mess of parts at his feet with a scowl, and he would consider himself lucky if it survived one jump to hyperspace.

But he meant what he had said to his father. He knew what he had to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **As you can see, I changed several things in this chapter: firstly, and perhaps most importantly, I gave Leia more dialogue. Now, I understand that JJ Abrams had limited audio of Carrie Fisher’s voice to work with, and given what he had, I think he did quite well. However, I really believe that Kylo heard more than just a “Ben” from Leia – his reaction and _especially_ his expression lead me to believe that there was more said than just his name. I’ve tried to add that as meaningfully as possible in this chapter.**
> 
> **Secondly, I fixed a minor plot hole – how Ben got off Kef Bir and to Exegol. While it’s certainly not the movie’s most glaring fault, it was a little thing that kept niggling at me until I fixed it.**
> 
> **Thirdly, you may have noticed that I’ve chosen to pace this fic quite slowly, taking special effort to go into what Ben is thinking and feeling at a particular moment, and why. This is because I think one of the biggest mistakes in TROS is trying to rush through too much plot in too little time, which leaves the viewers unsure of what exactly a character is feeling at a given time. I’m determined not to make the same mistake – if I’m going to do this thing, I’m going to do it properly.  
>   
>  Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated, be it bookmark, comment or kudo. (Wait – is there even such a word as ‘kudo?’ Everyone just talks about ‘kudos,’ plural, though grammatically there has to be some kind of singular form, right?) But that’s quite beside the point. Thank you very much for reading, and I do hope you enjoyed the introduction to Making It Right.**


	2. Exegol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Guys, thank you so much to everyone who has R &R’d the previous chapter! I’m stunned (delighted, but stunned) by the amount of positive attention this fic has gotten so far. I do hope you all like the next chapter, and please don’t kill me for the ending. All will be well eventually, I promise.**

The clunky, awkward TIE-cum-skimmer somehow managed to make it through the gravitational mess that was Exegol’s atmosphere unscathed – Ben couldn’t be sure, but he could have sworn he felt a hint of his uncle’s presence each time the ship narrowly avoided crashing.

It could have been just wishful thinking, but some small part of Ben whispered that maybe this was Luke’s way of making amends.

He pushed the thought away, ignoring the pang of guilt that rose as he did. Rey was close, her sense filled with thinly-veiled horror and fear. He couldn’t afford to be distracted.

He landed the clunky ship without a mishap, but he was pretty sure he heard something break as he rushed down the ramp. He flatly ignored it and took off at a dead run towards the stadium.

As he rounded the corner, he found himself face to face with… the Knights of Ren. Of _course._

And the only weapon he had on him was a blaster, of all things.

 _Just perfect,_ Ben thought to himself, suppressing the urge to roll his eyes.

But then, suddenly, he grinned. _I’m not Han Solo’s son for nothing, am I?_

He pulled the blaster from his belt and fired at the nearest Knight of Ren – it looked like Cardo – knocking him back against the wall.

As the others converged on him, vibro-weapons humming menacingly, he fired backwards, trusting in a combination of the Force and reckless blind luck to guide the blaster bolt to where he knew Kuruk would be crouched, sniper rifle ready.

Before he could get off another shot, Ap’lek knocked the blaster from his hands with his vibro-ax. Cursing under his breath, Ben lashed out with a foot, knocking the knight’s feet from under him.

Ap’lek recovered quickly, lashing out with his vibro-ax and slashing the side of Ben’s face open. 

He cursed again and retreated back a step, only to feel Ushar’s war club pressed into his back.

The Knights closed in, masked faces impassive as ever, but cold triumph radiated from their Force signatures as they hemmed him in, vibro-weapons humming greedily.

Then he was wrapped in the familiar sensation of his world tunnelling, narrowing to just the sound of their breathing and _her._

Rey.

She stood in front of him, clear as day, her face bathed in the blue light of Anakin Skywalker’s lightsaber.

He saw her eyes widen fractionally, their bond flooding with surprise and amazement, and the ghost of a smile flickered across her face as she gave him a tiny nod.

He nodded back, condensing everything he needed to say to her into that one small gesture. _It’s me. I’m here for you. You can do this. I believe in you._

Rey’s expression gave nothing away, just the right mixture of excitement and fear to fool Palpatine, but her eyes brightened with a surge of affection that was meant just for him. _Thank you, Ben._

She raised her lightsaber behind her back as if to strike at Palpatine, and Ben felt the monster’s triumph dark and gleeful through the Force. 

_Not today,_ he thought grimly, mirroring Rey’s actions.

They reached into their bond at the same time, Rey with a push and Ben with a pull, and the lightsaber leapt from her hand to his.

Ben felt a rush of pure satisfaction at the dumb shock that radiated off the Knights of Ren as he slowly raised his hand to reveal the lightsaber.

Unable to help himself, he spread his arms in a _ta-da_ gesture and gave his most Han-like shoulder shrug.

Then he whirled on his enemies, knowing as well as they did that the tide had turned.

He got Ushar first, the hum of the war club abruptly cut off as the lightsaber cut it clean in half. He felt a grim satisfaction as the cruelest of the Knights fell to the floor after his weapon, but it faded quickly as Ap’lek and Trudgen attacked.

The lightsaber was a blur of blue as it deflected first the vibro-ax and then the cleaver, and he ducked down just in time to avoid a vicious slash from Vicrul’s scythe. The vibro-weapon glanced off the lightsaber, held protectively over his back, and Ben huffed a relieved breath as Vicrul staggered away.

Reaching into the Force, he flung the Knight backwards and into the stone base of a pillar with a heavy _thunk_ before he had time to gather his wits. 

Trudgen, distracted by his comrade’s fall, momentarily lowered his enormous vibro-cleaver. A fatal mistake. Ben stabbed him through the chest with his lightsaber before the Knight had looked away from Vicrul’s prone body.

There was only Ap’lek left now, and Ben leapt high into the air to avoid a sweep from his vibro-ax. With the Force to boost him, he flew high over the Knight’s head, stabbing him from behind before he could re-gather his bearings.

He didn’t let himself savour his victory – sensing a flash of anger from Rey, he charged headlong into the entrance of Palpatine’s stadium, throwing himself towards the entry platform without pausing to consider his safety.

He hit the massive chain with a bone-shattering smash. _“Ow,”_ he grunted when he had regained his breath. 

But even that was a luxury he didn’t really have time for – Rey was fighting for her life, and unlike him, she was squaring off against more than competent attackers.

_I have to get to her._

Letting go of the chain, he dropped to the floor, using the Force to soften his fall as much as he could. Even so, the shockwaves sent jarring waves of pain up his legs.

Gritting his teeth, he ran through the statues and bubbling vats, lightsaber ready at his side. 

He reached Rey just as she was turning on the last of her attackers, and used the Force to fling the man as far away from her as he could. Somewhere at the edge of the stadium, he heard a dull thump. 

Rey turned to him at him, panting, and words couldn’t describe the look he saw in her eyes. It was the same look they had shared in Snoke’s throne room after she had caught the lightsaber, right before they turned to fight the Praetorian Guards together. It was surprise, and relief, and hope all at once, underlined with the sensation of _understanding_ each other so well in that moment that no words needed to be spoken.

As one, they turned to face Palpatine, raising Luke and Leia’s lightsabers to their sides in perfect synchrony.

Palpatine snarled. “Stand together, die together!”

He raised his hands, yanking them into the air with the Force, and try as they might, neither of them was strong enough to shake off the Emperor’s hold.

Ben sensed Rey’s angry frustration at being this helpless as clearly as if it was his own, and tried his best to send some reassurance through the bond.

A fatal mistake.

He had never seen an expression of such pure evil as the one the Emperor wore as understanding dawned about their bond – their dyad. 

Raising his hands slowly, Palpatine reached into the bond and _pulled._

Pain exploded in Ben’s head, pain the likes of which he had never known before, not even under Snoke. And coupled with the pain came an awful feeling of _wrongness_ – no-one but him or Rey had ever touched the bond before, it was _theirs,_ and Palpatine’s very touch was an invasion.

“The life force of your bond, a dyad in the Force,” said Palpatine, looking down at his skeletal hands with a slow, cruel triumph etched onto every line of his face. “A power like life itself, unseen for generations. And now, the power of two restores the one true Emperor!”

He tore into the bond again, and this time the agony was so intense that Ben’s vision whited out completely for a few seconds. 

_Painpainpainpainpain_ – and what made it worse was that it wasn’t just _his_ pain, it was Rey’s too. 

_Rey._

Ben forced himself to open his eyes, shoving the white spots out of his vision with sheer, overwhelming stubbornness. _Have to protect Rey._

He heaved himself to his feet, ignoring the way every nerve ending in his body screamed in protest. _Have to protect Rey._

Holding out his hand, he reached into the Force, winced at the sheer amount of effort it took, and called his mother’s lightsaber into his hands. _For Rey._

The weapon seemed to hum in his hands, and for a moment, his mind flashed into the past. Leia had held this lightsaber in her hands, but she had loved her son, loved _him_ so fiercely that she had laid it down and ended her Jedi path.

He felt the echo of her love as he gripped the lightsaber, a jolt of fierce protectiveness so powerful that it nearly knocked him off his feet. 

He ignited the lightsaber and let the feeling fill him with power, turning to face Palpatine with deadly intensity.

For the space of a split-second, the Emperor looked afraid. 

Then he raised a hand and heaved Ben into the air, forcing him to drop Leia’s lightsaber. He shuddered at the raw power of Palpatine’s hold – if the Emperor had been strong before, he was unbelievably so now.

Palpatine looked at him, and there was more hatred in that blank stare than Ben had ever encountered before. Chillingly, there was also a cold, steely sense of triumph.

“As once I fell,” said the Emperor, “so falls the last Skywalker.”

The Force around him flooded with the satisfaction of a hatred that had waited years to be unleashed as he hurled Ben across the room, sending him flying into a chasm he hadn’t even realised was there.

Ben felt a lot at that moment – anger, helplessness, a crushing sense of defeat. But more than anything else, he felt… acceptance.

The thought startled him even as it crossed his mind, but once he reached into himself to really examine it, he found it made perfect sense.

He didn’t care if he died. Not really. 

Not as long as Rey lived and won.

He could have tried to use the Force to stop or even to slow his fall, but he didn’t. Instead, he focused all his power on a mental shout, pouring everything he had into the fragile shreds of the bond: _Rey!_

Her end of the bond seemed to become a starburst of light as she regained consciousness. 

And as he struck the floor of the chasm with a shattering crash, Ben Solo smiled.

*****

_Ben._

He knew that voice. 

_Ben._

Everything hurt, and the voice just made the pounding in his head worse.

_Ben, you have to open your eyes._

“Mom?” he breathed, incredulous.

He got a sense of amusement from the person, whoever it was. 

_Not quite. But I’m flattered you see the resemblance. Few do, you know._

“Wha… who are you?” he asked, feeling stupid.

 _Come now, surely you can guess._

“Um…” His head felt like it was being pounded by several enraged Wookiees, and certainly not up to guessing the identity of a mysterious voice he was probably imagining, anyway.

The person, whoever it was, seemed to wince. 

_I’m sorry for your pain. Ben, I’m Anakin Skywalker._

Shock. Overpowering shock. 

“Anakin Skywalker?”

_That’s what I said._

“You’re my… my grandfather,” he managed to say through a throat that felt as if it had been stuffed with cotton wool.

_Yes._

“Why are you here?” Try as he might, Ben couldn’t keep the note of resentment from his voice. _Why now? Why not when I needed you most?_

Anakin’s presence in his mind seemed heavy with pain. 

_I tried to reach you before, Ben. How I tried. But you were always calling so strongly to Vader, not Anakin, that I couldn’t make contact._

“What’s different now?” 

_Rey._

The word felt like an electric shock. Ben jolted, opening his eyes for the first time.

He was at the bottom of an impossibly tall cliff, and at the top of the cliff… 

“Where is she?” he asked, feeling panic begin to bubble in his throat as he realised he _couldn’t feel Rey._

His grandfather seemed to hesitate. Then –

_She’s gone._

“No.” Ben’s throat tightened, his vision tunnelling to black as a wave of grief washed over him.

_You might still be able to help her._

His grandfather’s voice cut through the fog that had enveloped Ben’s mind, choking him in a flood of grief so intense it completely overwhelmed his surroundings.

“What?” he breathed.

_You and Rey are a dyad in the force, two halves of a whole. Just like she healed you once, you can heal her now._

Slowly, painfully, Ben heaved himself to his feet, nearly collapsing to the floor again as a bolt of pure agony shot up his left leg. 

Gritting his teeth, he hurled himself to the side of the cliff, resting his head against the smooth rock and inhaling deeply in an attempt to alleviate some of the pain in his broken leg. 

“Thank you, grandfather,” he whispered into the darkness around him, closing his eyes in silent gratitude.

Anakin Skywalker’s voice spoke for the last time in his mind, solemn but filled with stirring emotion.

_I had to lose the woman I loved. I will not let my grandson suffer through the same._

His grandfather’s presence faded from his mind, leaving behind a lingering echo of Anakin’s determination. Ben focused on that, using it as a sort of shield against his pain, and begun the climb up the cliff.

It was agonising. Every push sent white-hot flares of pain shooting through his leg and up his spine, and his arms shook and burned with the strain of heaving his body mass up the cliff face.

But he made it.

Dragging himself over the edge of the cliff, he limped towards Rey’s motionless form at the shambles of the black throne, his hand gripping his side tightly to try to alleviate some of the pain there.

It didn’t work, and he clenched his teeth as he stumbled under a fresh wave of pain, crashing to the floor. The action had his pain levels skyrocketing, but he forced himself to his feet despite it. _Rey. Rey is more important._

He staggered the last few metres to her side, dropping to the floor beside her and bringing shaking fingers to her arm to feel for a pulse.

Nothing.

Closing his eyes, he drew in a shuddering breath, pulling Rey’s limp body into his arms and tucking his head into her shoulder.

“Can you hear me?” he whispered softly, knowing it was useless but wanting to try nonetheless. 

There was no reply.

He drew another deep breath. “Hold on,” he told her softly, lowering her limp body to prop against his knee with infinite gentleness.

He placed his hand on her stomach, closing his eyes and letting the light side of the Force wash over him just like Luke had always told him to do.

 _I need to heal her,_ he thought into the flow of the light.

Memories flared in his mind, and suddenly he could hear Luke’s voice in his head as clearly as though he had said the words yesterday: _“But for this one, Ben, you’re going to have your first lesson in the ways of the Force from your mother. Leia was always much better than me at Force-healing.”_

And then his mother’s voice, warm and dry – _“it’s not about strength, Ben. It’s about_ love. _You can’t heal if you don’t love.”_

 _I love,_ Ben thought, an image of Rey’s smile flashing unbidden into his mind.

 _“Then use that love,”_ the memory of his mother told him. _“Focus on what you feel, and let your love flow through the Force. Let it heal what is hurt and mend what is broken.”_

Rey’s smile flickered across his mind again, and he was overwhelmed by how much he wanted to see it again.

He focused on the memory of that smile, and felt the Force flow from his hand into his body.

He could feel his own life draining as he restored hers, but he accepted the fact as soon as he understood it. Of course there would be a price – you couldn’t just restore somebody to life and expect no retribution – but if it meant Rey got the life she deserved, he would do it a thousand times over.

Rey’s hand dropped onto his, its weight warm and reassuring and _alive,_ and despite everything, his mind flooded with happy triumph. _He had done it._

He opened his eyes and looked at her, inhaling sharply at what he saw. He hadn’t realised how much it had affected him to see her face limp and ashen until there was colour in her cheeks again.

She sat up a lot quicker than he had expected, confusion etching lines into her forehead, her eyes searching his.

He swallowed hard. It was unbelievably good to see her again.

 _It’s okay,_ he tried to tell her without words. _It’s okay._

Something must have gotten through, because Rey’s face split into a dazzling smile. “Ben,” she breathed, reaching out a trembling hand to brush his cheek.

He felt his own lips tug upwards in response to her smile. “Rey,” he said softly.

She inhaled shakily, her thumb brushing gently across the corner of his lip –

And then she kissed him.

For a split-second that seemed to last a lot longer than it probably had, Ben was frozen in absolute shock. Then he regained his senses and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close and kissing her back with everything he had.

As a young boy, Ben had read and watched more than his fair share of holodramas, much to his father’s endless amusement. But he had never thought he would _actually_ get to experience the whole fireworks-behind-his-eyes, moment-of-pure-triumph kiss.

The holodramas didn’t do it justice – no words could describe the pure, unfiltered _joy_ that flooded through him, the sensation of absolute _rightness_ that sang through their bond.

After a few moments, Rey pulled away, her thumb still tracing little patterns onto his cheek. Her smile was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen – wonder, joy and just a hint of embarrassment wrapped up in one perfect package.

Ben smiled back at her, really smiled, for the first time in literal years. He couldn’t remember ever feeling this _happy._

But the moment couldn’t last. 

He had brought her back when it should have been impossible, and one couldn’t just go around doing the impossible without paying some form of a price. It had been a mercy of the Force to let him stay just long enough to share this kiss with her. 

It didn’t really feel all that merciful to him – the reality of what he would lose stung a lot sharper now that he knew what he could have had.

But there was nothing he could do about it. He had given everything he had to bring her back, and no matter how much it hurt him, he would do it a thousand times over again.

He fell backwards, all his strength spent, and felt Rey’s shock and horror above him. He reached for her hand, using the very last shreds of strength he had left to wrap his fingers around hers. 

Peace filled him – a reluctant kind of peace, but peace nevertheless. If he had to go, this was one of the best ways to do it.

Her face was the last thing he saw, and her fingers wrapped around his the last thing he felt.

Ben closed his eyes, and let himself fade into the flow of the Force.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **And he died. The end.**
> 
> **…. Well, if you’re JJ Abrams. Fortunately, I’m not.**
> 
> **BEN SOLO IS NOT DEAD, GUYS! You’ll just have to wait until the next chapter to find out how. *ducks barrage of furious reviews from enraged readers* All will be well, I promise! Just… not quite yet.**
> 
> **Meanwhile… changes. What changes did I make to canon in this chapter? Well, first of all, I made Anakin appear to Ben, because _seriously._ It’s just ridiculous that _nobody_ came to help Ben when he needed it most, but every single Force Ghost flocked to Rey’s aid. **
> 
> **Secondly, I gave Ben a bit more dialogue. And hilarious as it is to have Ben’s last word be “ow,” I didn’t think it was a fitting tribute to the character at _all_ – in this fic, I changed it to “Rey,” which is just SO much more meaningful.**
> 
> **I’ll try my best to have the next chapter ready for you guys as soon as possible, because Ben Solo dead is not something I want any more than you do. Until then… well, I'd love to hear what you all thought in the comments!**


	3. Between

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **I’m sure nobody _actually_ wants to read one of my long, rambling author’s notes right now, so I’ll do you all a favour and leave it for the end. Enjoy chapter three! **

The first thing Ben noticed was that someone was laughing, young and carefree and happy. 

He blinked slowly, and found himself in the middle of a green field, the grass around him blowing gently from in a salt-scented breeze. 

Fingertips shaking slightly, he raised his hand to his cheek, exhaling softly when his palm met warm skin.

Dropping his hand, he looked down at himself, wryly surprised to find that he was wearing a soft white tunic and pants much like he used to wear when he was training at Luke’s academy. A quick tug at the shirt assured him that it, too, seemed entirely real.

From somewhere behind him, the laugh rang out again. Ben let go of the shirt and looked up, half-expecting to see someone appear there at the base of the hill behind him.

As though reading his mind, a person appeared just where he had expected – two people, to be precise. One was a little boy of about five years old, shrieking with delighted laughter as he raced up the hill, and the other was a woman who could only be his mother, her loose hair flowing out behind her as she chased him up the hill.

The little boy shouted with glee as his mother caught up to him and swept him into her arms, spinning him round and round as he closed his eyes and laughed. She leaned down to press a kiss to his smooth forehead, her smile soft, and he opened his eyes, looking up at her with pure adoration.

Ben was rooted to the spot, his thoughts suddenly painfully bright with loss and longing. The feeling only intensified as the mother and her little son faded away, their outlines shimmering faintly blue against the green backdrop before disappearing entirely.

“Ben,” a voice said behind him, soft and warm. 

He turned around slowly, already knowing who he would see.

“Ben,” Leia said again, opening her arms.

For a moment he was frozen, paralysed by shock and guilt, but then his body started moving almost of its own accord. He ran into his mother’s arms, and Leia drew him close, wrapping her arms tightly around his shoulders.

“Mom,” Ben said raggedly, taking a step back to look down at her. “Mom, I –“

“I am so proud of you, Ben,” Leia interrupted, reaching up a hand to cradle his face. 

“You shouldn’t be,” he said, voice choked with emotion. “Everything I did…”

“Is in the past,” she said firmly. “However much you want to, there is nothing you can ever do about it.” 

She closed her eyes, and a shadow of soul-shattering pain passed across her face. “No-one can go back and change things, Ben.” 

“I deserve to die,” he said, a fresh flare of crippling guilt flooding through him at the immeasurable grief that was etched into her face.

Leia opened her eyes and glared at him. “How can you say that?”

“I – what?” Ben blinked, dumbfounded.

His mother took a step forward, fiercely intimidating despite being a full head shorter than he was. “I said, how can you _possibly_ think you deserve to die?”

He shook his head slightly. “Mom, do you have any idea how many lives I destroyed –“

“And you being dead, how is that going to help them at all?” Leia’s eyes blazed up at him, and he saw a flicker of the princess that had stood up to Grand Moff Tarkin all those years ago.

“That’s just the thing,” he said wearily. “I _destroyed_ them. I can’t help them.”

“You can help their families,” Leia countered, her voice full of quiet force. “And you can make sure that nothing like that ever happens again, not to anyone.”

Ben gaped at her, then gathered himself and closed his mouth quickly. “You really think… you think I can do that?” he stammered.

“I don’t think you _can,”_ his mother said grimly. “I think you _have_ to.”

He closed his eyes, the screams of countless, nameless enemies echoing hauntingly through his skull. “You’re right,” he said softly, opening his eyes.

Leia’s expression softened. “That, Ben, is why I’m proud of you.” 

He didn’t know what to say. _Thank you_ didn’t seem to cut it; neither did _I’m sorry_ or any of the thousand _I should have _’s.__

__His mother seemed to sense his dilemma, stepping forward and cradling his cheek again. “Everyone makes mistakes, Ben,” she said. “It’s part of life. What’s important is how you _fix_ those mistakes.”_ _

__“I made mistakes, Ben,” she admitted, her gaze distant. “Many of them. But my biggest regret is that I made you feel, even for one moment, that I didn’t love you anymore.”_ _

__Her eyes found his, full of fierce love and pride and sadness all at once. “I never stopped loving you, Ben. Never. I should have made sure you knew that every moment of every day.”_ _

__“Mom,” he said, overwhelmed, but she held up a hand, expression resolute._ _

__“I can’t change the past, Ben, just like you can’t. But I can change the future. You deserve a chance to go back and make things right – but more than that, you deserve love. You deserve to _be_ loved, and to love in return, until the end of your days.”_ _

__“Mom,” he said again._ _

__Leia smiled at him, her gaze full of love. “Come here.”_ _

__He stepped forward immediately, and she wrapped her arms around him in a tight embrace._ _

__Ben rested his head on Leia’s and closed his eyes, feeling her love as though it was a tangible thing in the air. It was warm and reassuring, blooming in his chest and filling him with warmth from top to toes._ _

__He opened his eyes, and saw that he was _glowing_ with a soft blue light. He hadn’t been imagining the warm feeling at all – somehow, Leia was giving him the last of her life-force._ _

__“Will you come visit me?” he whispered into his mother’s hair, knowing he had precious little time left in this place, wherever it was._ _

__Leia shook her head slowly, her smile sad but peaceful. “I’m not going to stay, Ben,” she said softly. “I’m going to go on.”_ _

__“Say hi to Dad for me,” he said, pulling back to look at her for what he knew would be the last time. “And, Mom… thank you.”_ _

__“Go home,” his mother said softly, stretching up on her tiptoes to kiss his forehead._ _

__The blue glow brightened and brightened, spots of white starting to form at the edges of his vision. For a moment, he glimpsed the younger versions of himself and his mother shimmering in the air a little while off on the hilltop. Leia’s smile, full of warm and unconditional love, was the last thing he saw before the light swept across his vision entirely._ _

__*****_ _

__On the forest planet of Ajan Kloss, the body of Princess Leia faded away._ _

__Standing by her bedside, Maz Kanata smiled._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***sighs and sniffs a little* I got waaay too emotional writing this chapter – a scene like this in the movie would have made my _decade._ Sadly, it wasn’t possible – but that is the wonder of fanfiction. We can fix things like this, and make ourselves ridiculously emotional in the process.**
> 
> **Please tell me what you guys thought!! I can’t wait to hear if any of you guys also got ridiculously emotional.**


	4. Ajan Kloss, Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **First of all, a very heart-felt thank-you to everyone who has read, reviewed, followed and favourited this story so far. Your encouragement is absolutely _amazing,_ guys, thank you so much.**
> 
> **Secondly, a note about the redemption arc proper, which begins in this chapter. Much as I (and Ben Solo, probably) might wish otherwise, I can’t just wave a magic wand and make the past go away. (Well, technically, I can, but I’m not going to in this fic.) The whole point of this fic is writing a _proper_ redemption arc for Ben, which means Ben has to face what he’s done and work to make up for it. And, of course, gain the Resistance’s trust. (I can tell you now _that_ won’t be easy.) **
> 
> **But the thing about a really good redemption arc is even though it’s _extremely_ difficult to pull off, it leaves you feeling incredibly satisfied when the character finally gets his or her Happily Ever After. It’s the classic “a lot of hard work makes the reward feel so much more worthwhile” mentality. **
> 
> **We are now officially entering the A Lot Of Hard Work phase. I apologise for the delay between updates, but I wanted to make sure this chapter was done _properly._ I do hope you all enjoy it! **

Ben’s eyes flew open and he gasped in a heaving breath, his lungs burning like they had when his aquabreather had broken on a snorkelling holiday to Mon Cala. He had been without air for barely a minute, then. 

This felt a hundred times worse.

He gulped air like a drowning man, feeling like he could never get enough to ease the awful burn in his chest. 

He had never appreciated how complex and wonderful the act of breathing was before, but now it hit him full force. From infancy, you breathed. No-one had to teach you how, it was just an instinct. And just that – just an instinct – kept them all alive, kept oxygen racing through their systems to allow them to think, and feel, and _live._

As though that thought had been the catalyst, the bond exploded into being in Ben’s mind, bright and brilliant, soaking into every corner of his brain and healing wounds he hadn’t even known were there. 

The memory of Rey’s face ashen grey, her body cold and still – _gone._ The fear and crushing grief that had flooded through his mind when he realised he couldn’t feel her – _gone._ The helpless rage he had felt when Palpatine had cast him away so easily, _gone,_ the aching feeling of failure that he should have been there to fight the monster with Rey, _gone._

And then Rey herself was there, sprinting across the hall to him and crashing to the floor beside him, her hand shaking as she placed it on his chest to feel his heartbeat thrumming beneath her fingers.

She looked up slowly, her eyes shining with unshed tears, and he sensed she was terrified that this was some form of illusion and he would fade away in front of her again.

Tenderly, Ben placed his hand over hers on his chest, pouring all the reassurance and warmth he possibly could into the action and into his gaze, still locked with hers. 

Rey was the strongest person he had ever met, except perhaps for his mother. But even the strongest people had to let themselves break once in a while, and Rey had faced more in one day today than most people ever would in their entire lives. 

Burying her head in his shoulder, she let herself break for the first time in nearly ten years, sobbing so that her entire body shook.

Ben didn’t even have to think about it – he wrapped an arm tightly around her and pulled her close, the other hand reaching up to cradle her head. He didn’t speak; he knew she would tell him when she was ready.

He was right. Rey gathered herself faster than he had expected, sitting up and reaching for his hand. 

“It was the worst thing I’ve ever felt,” she said, her voice hoarse from crying. “Like a part of me had been ripped clean away, and there was salt being poured onto the wound.”

She sniffed and brushed fiercely across her damp cheeks with her free hand. “I’ve always told myself I didn’t need anyone else to be whole.”

“You don’t,” Ben said, reaching up with his free hand to brush the pad of his thumb across her cheek. He thought of how brightly she always shone in the Force - even when she had just come back to life, she made everything else seem dim in comparison. “You’re the strongest person I know,” he told her.

Rey closed her eyes, a single tear leaking from under her lashes and tracing a sparkling path down her cheek. “I’m not strong at all,” she whispered. “When you died, I couldn’t even let myself cry. I froze completely, and then I _ran.”_

Through the bond, he heard her mind continue the sentence, desperately sad and still terrified that he might disappear again: _in less than an hour, I got everything I ever wanted, and just like that, I lost it again._

“That doesn’t make you weak,” he said, leaning back to look deep into her eyes. “You’ve already gone through so much today, and I understand what it feels like when the bond is gone.”

Just the memory of it was enough to make him shudder – he had never felt anything worse than that awful _emptiness_ where Rey was supposed to be.

He swept his thumb gently across the curve of her cheekbone, calling on the memory of the bond returning. “But that’s _over,”_ he said, quiet but urgent, willing her to understand. “You don’t ever have to be alone again.”

Closing his eyes, he leaned forward and rested his forehead against hers, sending the brilliant memory of the bond reopening flooding through their link. 

A sharp intake of breath told him that it had worked, followed by a pulse of pure joy from Rey’s side of the bond. 

He didn’t need the bond to know what she was feeling – he remembered it perfectly himself. It was the best feeling in the world – love, happiness, wonder, and delight, mixed with the wonderful sensation that everything was exactly right in the world.

 _We don’t need each other to be whole,_ he thought, deliberately projecting the thought into the bond. _But if we’re together, we balance each other perfectly._

The bond seemed to glow gently with Rey’s agreement. _Thank you._

“How did you know exactly what to say?” Rey murmured, opening her eyes at the same time as he did.

Ben gave her a crooked grin. “I guess I just know you.”

Wonder filled Rey’s eyes and smile. “Yes,” she breathed. “I guess you do.”

Leaning forwards, she pressed her lips to his in a soft, gentle kiss. Their bond seemed to burst into a shower of tiny sparkles as Ben tightened his arm around her, tenderly kissing her back.

They broke apart a few seconds later, and Ben opened his eyes, locking gazes with Rey. She gave him a small grin, and he kissed her lightly on the cheek, reaching for her hand.

“Come on,” he said, lacing their fingers and pulling her to her feet. “Let’s get out of here.”

“The Resistance’s base is on Ajan Kloss,” she said, trying rather uselessly to dust off her white clothing. 

She must have felt him tense, because she turned to him with raised eyebrows. “What is it?”

“I don’t know if I can go to the Resistance,” he admitted, dropping his gaze. 

She frowned. “I think it’s what your mother would have wanted.”

It was as though he was in the meadow again, listening to his mother’s words – _“Everyone makes mistakes, Ben. It’s part of life. What’s important is how you_ fix _those mistakes.”_

“You’re right,” he said, blinking and nodding at her.

Rey’s gaze softened. “Did you see her?”

“Yeah,” he answered softly. “Some part of her spirit must have clung on even after she died, and she used that to bring me back.”

“I’ll thank her when I see her,” Rey said, a memory of Luke’s Force ghost flitting through the bond.

“You won’t,” Ben said quietly.

Rey looked sharply at him. “What do you mean?”

“My mother told me she chose not to stay behind as a Force ghost,” he said, voice as bittersweet as the memory. “She’s going on, to be with my father again.”

“Oh. _Oh.”_ Her voice was full of the same mix of emotions Ben himself had felt – compassion, understanding, sorrow. 

She closed her eyes for a moment, and he sensed her saying goodbye to Leia for the last time. The bond was tinged with unspoken regrets – _I should have told her, I should have stayed with her_ – but the overarching emotion was peaceful acceptance.

 _That’s what she would have wanted,_ Ben thought, picturing his mother’s last smile, full of love and grief and above all, peace.

Rey opened her eyes and squeezed his hand. “Let’s go,” she said.

*****

The Knights of Ren’s sleek _Oubliette_ -class transport, the _Night Buzzard,_ flew like a dream compared to the clunky TIE-cum-skimmer Ben had taken to Exegol. He had taken a kind of perverse pleasure in leaving the thing in the crumbling ruins of the Sith stronghold (after Rey had finished laughing at it, that is.) 

He did have some doubts about flying this particular ship into the heart of the Resistance, though. Surely they would recognise the transport of the dreaded Knights of Ren, and attempt to shoot it down?

But Rey assured him with a slightly alarming carelessness that it wouldn’t be a problem. _“I know the Generals,”_ she had said with a grin when he had pressed for details. 

The comms crackled to life in front of him. _“Night Buzzard,_ this is Ground Control. You have been cleared for landing on platform nine seven-seven.”

Ben blinked. It seemed that Rey really _did_ know the Generals.

“Thank you,” he told Control, not quite managing to keep the surprise out of his voice.

“We’ll be sending a party to meet you,” Control informed him with just a touch of dryness. This was his mother’s organisation, all right.

“Not a problem,” he said. _“Night Buzzard_ out.”

He landed the ship expertly on the small landing pad, figuring that he might as well show off his piloting skills if he was going to get arrested anyway. 

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he heard a voice that sounded suspiciously like Rey’s informing him that that logic made absolutely no sense. 

He cheerfully ignored it and continued showing off.

As promised, there was a landing party waiting for him when he opened the ramp, consisting of several Resistance officers holding stun batons, an unimpressed-looking Poe Dameron, and FN-2187 – _Finn,_ he reminded himself, _Finn_ – whose brow was furrowed as though he was concentrating very hard on something.

“Well, damn, Rey,” said Dameron, and Ben’s heart did a little skip when he saw Rey standing just to the left of the rest of the party. “You didn’t mention he was such a show-off.”

But there was grudging admiration in his tone. Ben sensed instinctively that, being a pilot himself, Dameron understood all too well the difficulty of landing a shuttle the size of the _Night Buzzard_ so perfectly on an uneven jungle floor, not to mention showing off with a few twirls on the way.

Beneath the admiration, though, he sensed strong distrust and a hint of fear in Dameron’s Force signature. 

_He’s using a devil-may-care mask to hide what he’s really feeling,_ he realised. And, with a touch of regret-tainted nostalgia, _Just like my dad used to._

Rey must have noticed the sudden spike in his own Force signature, because she took half a step forward, concern rippling through the bond. 

To his surprise, he saw FN2 – _Finn_ – frown as well, raising a hand to his head as though he had a sudden headache.

 _Interesting,_ Ben thought, reaching out gently with the Force to brush against the former stormtrooper’s mind. There it was, humming just below the surface of his consciousness – a tentative connection to the Force.

More prominent, though, was the conflict that raged through the ex-stormtrooper’s mind. On the one hand, he trusted Rey implicitly, and wanted to believe that Kylo Ren had turned to their side. But on the other, his mind kept replaying the moment Ben had killed his father, and his mind whispered – _what if this is a trick, too? What if he’s just playing on Rey’s sentiments, and he’ll kill her as soon as we all trust him?_

Ben winced, and withdrew from Finn’s mind to brush against the minds of the two Resistance officers.

The first one, _Beaumont Kin,_ had a very straightforward, no-nonsense mind, and he very clearly wanted nothing more than to stun Ben right away and toss him into a prison cell to rot. But respect for his Generals and for Rey held him in place, though Ben could sense very clearly that if the stun order was given, Kin would not hesitate.

The second one was more interesting. From her mind, he sensed she was called Kaydel Ko Connix, and she had worked quite closely with his mother. His heart lurched as he saw the memories of Leia confiding in Kaydel, over and over, how she believed her son _would_ return one day.

Kaydel herself had very mixed feelings. She was happy for the General, and wanted to honour her legacy by believing that her son really had returned. But she also remembered Poe Dameron’s horror stories about his torture at Kylo Ren’s hands, and the duel in which he had seemingly killed the legendary Luke Skywalker.

 _None of these people trust me,_ he thought with a sinking realisation. _It’s just because of Rey that they’re willing to give me a chance._

For a moment, he longed to run away, but Kaydel Ko Connix’s memory of his mother held him in place more firmly than any chains could. 

_I’ve been given a chance I don’t really deserve. But I_ will _prove to these people that they made the right call to give it to me._

“You don’t trust me,” he said to the group at large, raising his hands to his sides to show that they were empty. “I don’t blame you.”

Beaumont Kin, who had raised his baton as soon as Ben spoke, lowered it again slowly, distrust still rippling through his Force signature.

But he was intrigued, too. He _wanted_ to hear what the late General’s son had to say for himself.

 _All these people respect you so much, Mother,_ he thought, closing his eyes briefly at the stab of pain the memory of his mother’s death brought. 

_If you’re listening, Mother, help me find the words,_ he pleaded silently into the air, feeling like a lost and helpless ten-year-old again.

A memory of his mother flashed in front of his closed eyes – _“you have the words inside you, Ben,”_ she said with a warm smile, poking his chest playfully. _“Right here, in your heart. Words from the heart can inspire a galaxy.”_

He opened his eyes and drew in a deep breath. “You don’t trust me,” he repeated. “And you have no reason to. I’m the man who forced my way into his mind.” He gestured at Poe Dameron, who winced and took a barely-discernible step backwards. “I’m the man who slashed your back open and left you for dead in a snowy forest.” He nodded at Finn. “And I’m also the man who took over the First Order and spent a year terrorising the galaxy.”

“You have no guarantees, absolutely none, that I’ve changed,” he said, making eye contact with each member of the group in turn the way his mother had taught him. “Except my word. I promise you, each and every one of you, that I am not that man any more. Kylo Ren is dead – I am Ben Solo.”

He took another deep breath – this would be the trickiest bit. “And I know I have to face justice for all those things I did. If you want to stun me on the spot and throw me into the worst prison cell you can find, I won’t fight you.” He flashed a wry look at Beaumont Kin. “I will take whatever punishment you choose to give me.”

“And I promise you all that I will never, ever hurt another soul the way I hurt some of you. I know it won’t be quick or easy to earn your trust, but if you’re willing to give me a chance, I will do it, and then I will spend the rest of my life helping you to rebuild the galaxy and make sure that there will never be anyone like Palpatine again.”

For a moment there was absolute silence, and Ben groaned inwardly. _I did it wrong, I did it wrong, I did it –_

Then, slowly, Beaumont Kin brought his hands together. It took Ben a moment to realise that he was _applauding._

After a moment, Kaydel Ko Connix joined him, and then the entire forest seemed to be full of the sound of clapping. Ben flushed scarlet as he realised that most of the Resistance had gathered to listen to him speak.

Rey beamed at him from across the clearing. _That was amazing, Ben._

He grinned back, still not quite believing that he had actually done it. _Thank you._

“All right, that was a decent speech, I’ll give you that,” Poe Dameron said when some of the clapping had died down. To his right, Finn snorted and bumped him with his shoulder.

Dameron gave his friend a glare, but relented. “Fine, it was an excellent speech.”

“I learned from the best,” Ben said quietly.

A flicker of grief crossed Dameron’s face. “I know,” he said, just as quietly. “Your mother believed in you, you know.”

“I won’t let her down,” Ben promised.

Dameron searched his face, and seemed to come to a decision, giving a quick nod. “Okay, I believe you,” he said. He took a few steps towards Ben and folded his arms. “You asked for a chance, you’ve got it. Take a formal trial on Coruscant, and accept whatever the judge rules.”

Ben was nodding before Dameron had even finished speaking. “I’ll do it,” he said. “That’s fairer than I could have hoped for.”

Dameron gave him a wry smile. “Don’t thank me yet. Coruscant doesn’t forget easily, and you have an entire Hosnian Cataclysm to defend yourself against.”

Ben winced. “It’s not going to be easy.”

“But it’s going to be worthwhile,” Rey said, appearing at his side. He felt a little glow in his chest, and realised that it was _happiness._ No matter how difficult this was going to be, he had Rey, and that was enough to make him happy.

“Come on, Ben,” she said, turning to give him a warm smile that said she knew exactly what he had been thinking, and agreed with him. “We have a defence to prepare.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Please do tell me what you all thought about this chapter! I absolutely love hearing from you guys (although my sister would tell you it’s bad for my ego.)**
> 
> **On a slightly less cheerful note, unfortunately I won’t be able to update this fic as regularly as I’d hoped. My workload has doubled this year, and I’m still figuring out my new schedule and how to handle everything. Still, I get to write on most weekends, and it’s my aim to update about once every two weeks (probably on Saturdays.) If you don’t mind the wait, I’ll see you then!**


	5. Ajan Kloss, Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Hi guys! Sorry for the delay in updates _(again)_ but exams have been keeping me so busy I can barely fit in time to write down two sentences. Sad, really. At least I managed to pile up my two sentences until I had a half-way decent chapter. I hope you all enjoy it! **

Ben had barely taken two steps before the back of his neck _tingled,_ the Force around him eddying with warning. Whirling around, he held out a hand, palm up, freezing the blaster bolt in mid-air mere centimetres from his neck. 

Rey spun around, her lightsaber flying to her hand and igniting in a crackle of blue plasma. Instinctively, they stood back to back, covering each other and scanning the crowd together. 

Whispers of awe and fear rippled through the crowd, and the Resistance seemed to take a collective step back. Whoever had fired the bolt was masked in the overwhelming Force signature of the crowd.

After a moment of electric silence, Rey lowered her lightsaber, shutting it off with a snap and tucking it back into her belt. “Who shot that?” she asked calmly, gesturing at the blaster bolt still suspended in mid-air.

No-one replied.

Dameron seemed to unfreeze and stepped forward. “Alright, everyone, please calm down. I understand why some of you might think I’ve made a mistake in agreeing to trust this man. But I did agree to it, and I expect you all to respect my decision.”

He looked around the clearing, making eye contact with everyone he could see. “This man is the son of General Leia Organa and Han Solo, and Luke Skywalker’s nephew. We owe it to them to give him a second chance.”

Ben felt a grudging respect for the man rise up in him as the Resistance’s collective Force signature calmed somewhat, murmurs of agreement rippling through the forest. 

“Thank you,” Dameron said. He caught Ben’s eye and gave a small nod, jerking his head at the blaster bolt.

Ben understood, and relaxed his hand to release the bolt. It shot downwards with a low whine, striking the forest floor explosively and sending up flurries of dirt and leaves. 

From Dameron’s part, it was a very clever move. Without him having to say anything, it showed the Resistance that attacking Ben was futile, but also showed that he was willing to keep his promise – instead of redirecting the bolt to kill, which he would probably have every right to do, he chose to send it at the floor and harm no-one. 

He wasn’t Kylo Ren anymore, that much should be abundantly obvious to anyone and everyone watching. 

_Are you okay?_ Rey asked him through the bond, relaxing her stance and turning to him with raised eyebrows.

_Fine,_ he sent, flashing her a half-smile for good measure. _A bit more tired than I should be after stopping that bolt, but that’ll be Palpatine’s draining._

She gave him a wry smile – _thank all the stars that’s over_ – and turned to walk over to Dameron and Finn.

Finn, he noticed suddenly, was watching him and Rey with a furrowed brow. 

_Can he sense the bond?_ Ben wondered. Then he realised – to everyone watching, it must have seemed like he and Rey had communicated entirely in half-smiles and eyebrow raises. 

What that suggested, he wasn’t sure – but judging by Finn’s frown, the ex-stormtrooper didn’t like it all too much. 

_Well, fair,_ Ben admitted to himself. _I wouldn’t like it that much either if my best friend suddenly started talking in smiles and shrugs to my worst enemy._

The thought sent a twinge through his chest as an image of Tai flashed in front of his eyes. 

_Tai._ He hadn’t thought of his one real Jedi friend in years. 

Guilt, self-hatred, grief – but before his emotions could flood him completely, he felt a gentle hand on his arm. 

He half-turned, expecting Rey, but instead he saw a short, dark-haired woman in a Resistance commander’s uniform, a half-moon pendant catching the sun on her chest. 

“I know that look,” she said softly. “But blaming yourself won’t help. You can’t change the past, no matter how much you want to.”

He blinked at her, surprised. That was nearly word-for-word what his mother had told him in his memory of the Chandrilan hill.

“I wanted to hate you, you know,” the woman continued, her voice reflective. “I wanted to hate you so much, and hate Poe for even offering you a chance. But then I saw that look on your face.”

“I lost my sister in the war,” she said, and he didn’t need the Force to sense the waves of grief that flooded off her. “She piloted one of the bombers that took down the _Fulminatrix._ The First Order took her from me. _You_ took her from me. And I should hate you for it.”

“But I can’t,” she said, shaking her head, unshed tears in her eyes. “You’re like me. You lost people you love, too. And the moment I saw that look on your face, I knew you’d go back and change things in a heartbeat if you could. How can I hate you for that?”

Ben didn’t know what to say. 

The woman shook her head again. “It’s so easy to look at you and see just the monster, the murderer,” she said. “But there’s more to you than that. You were a victim in all of this, as well.” She took a deep breath, blowing it out in a slightly shuddery sigh. “You deserve that second chance.”

“Thank you,” he said, but the two words couldn’t possibly express all the gratitude, respect and empathy he felt towards this woman.

She smiled sadly, raising a hand to wipe at her eyes. “You remind me of your mother,” she said softly.

Ben’s heart twisted. Touching his shoulder gently, the woman turned and walked away.

The ex-stormtrooper, Finn, met her half-way across the clearing, putting a protective arm around her waist and glaring daggers at Ben.

Despite himself, Ben smiled. The moment reminded him poignantly of his father pulling his mother into his arms after an argument with Borsk Fey’lya and shooting the Bothan in question a glare furious enough to set a rancor shivering. 

He was surprised at how peaceful the memory was, and even more surprised to notice that it came to him completely free of any guilt or heart-wrenching grief. Instead, he felt nostalgia, tinged by a hint of fond sadness. 

_I’ve moved on,_ he realised with a jolt. 

He wondered, briefly, if he should feel guilty for letting go of his grief so quickly. 

But the answer came to him with such unshakeable certainty that he felt sure his mother and father had reached out to him – _no._ Wherever they were now, Leia Organa and Han Solo were happy, and they were proud of him. 

Someone touched his shoulder again, and he knew without having to look that this time it _was_ Rey.

She stood next to him and watched Finn and the dark-haired woman – _Rose,_ she supplied through the bond – with an affectionate smile. 

_For a long time, I thought I’d never get to have that,_ she told him, and he sensed a trace of lingering sadness as she watched Finn press a quick kiss to Rose’s temple, leaning down to lace his fingers with hers. 

_And now you can?_ he asked carefully. 

She turned to face him. _Is that something you’d want?_

He felt a warm glow spread through him. _More than anything._

_Maybe not immediately, but we can have that,_ Rey said, and it sounded like a promise.

He found himself grinning like an idiot as he looked down at her. He had wondered, fleetingly, if he had maybe misinterpreted their two kisses on Exegol, and if she had meant them more as gratitude and relief, and not –

_For all the stars, Ben, stop,_ Rey thought into their bond. _I kissed you because I wanted to kiss you. And now I want to get to know you the way Finn and Rose know each other – all the little quirks, all the little things and all the bigger things. Everything._

_You’re amazing,_ he informed her, pleased when her cheeks pinked slightly. _And I want to get to know you like that too._

They stood like that for a moment, looking at each other and grinning like the love-struck idiots they were. 

Then Rey started guiltily. “Oh, _stars,_ I almost forgot,” she said aloud. “Poe asked me to take you into the base.”

“To start preparing my defence for the trial?” he guessed, forcing his mind to return to practical matters, which was a lot harder than it should be when he kept wanting to start smiling for no good reason. 

Rey chewed her lip. “Well, actually, no. We can start that tomorrow. The Resistance is having a celebration tonight…”

“And I’m not invited,” he finished. 

She sighed. “Look, I trust you, and I know you’ve turned. But the rest of the Resistance… they agreed to give you a chance, but Poe thinks that it would be better if you stayed out of sight until the trial.”

“I understand,” he said gently, and really, he did. He couldn’t possibly expect the Resistance to start inviting him to parties after one speech, no matter how good it had been.

Rey sighed again. “Still, I wish you could have –“

“I’ve never been much of a party person anyway,” he said wryly, sending an image of himself dying of embarrassment at one of his mother’s fancy balls into the bond. 

The corners of Rey’s lips turned up as she grinned. He wished he could kiss her then and there, but he wasn’t stupid enough to do _that_ in front of who-knows-how-many members of the Resistance. 

He settled for sending her a flash of happiness through the bond, and her smile widened. 

“Let’s go,” he said, taking a step forward and nodding in the direction of the base. “You’ve got a party to go to.”

“I won’t go if you don’t –“ she started, but he cut her off.

“Oh, no, absolutely not. You need to go and enjoy yourself. Besides,” he added dryly, “if I keep you away from your friends for one more minute, Finn’s glare might actually burn a hole in my back.”

Rey rolled her eyes, but her affection filled the bond, warm and bright. 

Not just affection for Finn, he realised. Affection for _him,_ and a soft kind of happiness that he cared enough about her to let her go enjoy herself and leave him behind. 

“You’re not leaving me behind,” he said as they began to walk towards the base. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Just you try and keep me away,” she said.

Ben smiled. 

*****

Ben yawned and stretched his arms above his head, rolling his shoulders to work off a crick in his neck. Sunlight filtered through the window, bathing his bed with golden light and illuminating the simple desk and chair against the opposite wall. 

His room was nowhere near as grand as his quarters on the _Finalizer,_ but remarkably decent considering he was basically a prisoner of the Resistance. Simple and functional, they were nonetheless a massive step up from what he had been expecting. 

He was distracted from his musings by a stir on the other side of the bond as Rey woke up, followed by something that sounded like _urghharghhwhyyyy._

_Are you okay?_ he thought into the bond, biting back a grin at her interesting word choice. 

_Ughhhhhhh,_ she replied, and he felt the echo of her pounding headache in his skull. _Remind me never to go near Corellian whiskey again._

He tried and failed to hide his amusement. _That explains the grammar._

_Shut up,_ she grumbled good-naturedly. 

_Well, I can,_ he said, letting a hint of teasing creep into his tone. _Or I can talk some more, and explain to you how to use the Force to get rid of your hangover._

Rey’s shock pulsed through the bond. _You can do that?_

_How else do you think the Jedi Masters were never hungover?_

_I always thought they just… didn’t drink,_ Rey said. An image of the old Jedi Code flashed into her mind, and she gave a small mental shake as though all the strict rules were weighing down hard on her. 

_You’re not wrong,_ he admitted, privately agreeing with her sentiments about the Jedi rules. _They weren’t supposed to. But not all the Jedi started off as stuffy old men, you know. There were a few rulebreakers there too._

_And the rulebreakers needed to hide the fact that they were breaking the rules,_ Rey reasoned with just a hint of amusement. _So they came up with a way to cure their hangovers._

_Exactly,_ he agreed. 

_Okay, so how do you do it?_ He sensed Rey frowning as she splashed some cold water onto her face in an attempt to soothe her pounding head. 

Ben paused, considering. He had never tried explaining a Force technique to someone before. 

_It’s a lot like healing,_ he said after a moment of thought. _But instead of focusing on a cut or something external, direct the Force inwards. Close your eyes and try to see your blood as a river through the Force. The alcohol in your system appears like dark pebbles in the river. You have to let the Force flow through you completely, and wash the pebbles out of the river._

He sensed concentration from Rey’s end of the bond, and asked hesitantly, _Does that make sense?_

After a moment of silence, each second of which increased his anxiety by several notches, Rey replied, _Wow. That feels so much better. ___

_It worked?_

_Perfectly, _Rey said, sending him a rush of warmth through the bond. _You’re a natural teacher, Ben.___

____

____

_You think so?_ he asked, feeling a tingle of warmth in his chest.

_Definitely!_ Rey said. _You described the technique exactly how it worked out._

He felt the warm tingle again, and was able to identify it this time. He was… pleased.

Now there was an emotion he hadn’t felt in a long, long time. 

_Luke mentioned, once, that teaching gave him more pleasure than being a hero ever did,_ Ben said through the bond. _I thought he was being ridiculous. But now… I kind of get it. It’s a nice feeling._

He sensed the flash of an idea from Rey’s end of the bond, followed by a tingle of excitement. _What is it?_ he asked. 

She hesitated. _I… Do you mind if I come over?_

_Of course not,_ he answered, surprised.

_Good,_ Rey said, pleased. _I’ll see you in a few minutes, then._

She didn’t reach out to close the bond, so he could sense her leaving her rooms and walking down the corridor as clearly as he would have been able to if he was walking beside her. 

Ben shook his head slowly, marvelling at the bond. He had never imagined it was even possible to be this in tune with someone else, let alone that it would feel this _right._

A sudden idea struck him, and he shifted his focus to the empty cup on his desk. Reaching out a hand, he levitated the cup half a metre or so into the air. 

He could still feel the bond in the back of his mind, Rey’s presence there as natural as his own. The best way he could think to describe it was with an analogy – it was like reading in the sun. Even when his brain was actively focusing on the book, a part of him was still aware of the sun’s warmth on his back.

He let the cup float slowly back down to the desk, shifting his focus back to the bond again. The link’s openness felt as natural as breathing, as though his mind and Rey’s were _meant_ to be connected like this. 

The thought of closing it seemed absurd.

He realised, now, that a lot of their pain and exhaustion during the war years was because they had been forcing the bond to stay shut when it should have been open since the moment they had met. Closing the bond had been like damming a river – difficult and time-consuming, with the current fighting to be released every single day.

No _wonder_ they had issues.

He was so caught up in his musings that he almost missed the knock on his door. Rey gave him a little nudge through the bond – _we’re here, daydreamer_ – just as he realised that there was someone outside.

Two someones, actually. One was Rey, and the other one was Rose, the woman who had said he reminded her of his mother.

With a soft beep of alarms being deactivated, his door swung open.

“Morning,” he said, smiling at Rey and nodding at Rose.

Rose was all business, greeting him perfunctorily before launching into a speech about his future. “Morning. Right, so, as you probably know, you’re going to have to start preparing a defence for your trial.”

Ben nodded. He did know that, but he didn’t have the faintest idea where to start.

Rose looked him up and down, and gave a quick nod. “Right now, the Resistance’s priority is setting up a new government. We’re having a meeting this afternoon to discuss that. And when that’s sorted, your trial on Coruscant will be the first order of business.”

“You sound like you know exactly what you’re talking about,” he said, impressed.

Rose flashed a quick smile. “That’s probably because I do know exactly what I’m talking about. General Leia spent a long time explaining to me what needed to happen if we won.”

“Sounds like my mother,” he said with a flash of nostalgia.

Rose nodded, and her shrewd eyes fixed on his. He wondered what she saw in him.

He didn’t have time to wonder for very long, because Rose started talking again almost immediately. “When the government is set up, dealing with the remnants of the war will be first priority. You make the top of the list.”

“So I really need to start preparing my defence,” he said. “Problem is, I don’t have a clue how to do that.”

Rose tapped her lips in consideration. “I’m no law expert, but I do know this: you’re going to have to give Coruscant a very good reason not to throw you in prison and leave you there for the rest of your days.”

Ben nodded. That made perfect sense. Problem was, he didn’t _have_ a very good reason.

Rey, who had been quiet up until this point, stepped forward. “I think I know what we can say,” she said.

Ben turned to her, surprised. “What?”

She took a deep breath. “You can help me train a new generation of Jedi.”

Okay, he had _not_ been expecting that. “Come again?” he said.

“Earlier, when you taught me to filter the alcohol out of my system? It made perfect sense. You’re a natural teacher,” Rey explained. “And, unlike me, you were fully trained by Master Skywalker. There’s really no-one better to help me teach a new generation of Jedi.”

Ben blinked. Blinked again. And thought about it.

Of all the scenarios for his future, he had never pictured teaching as one of them, let alone teaching new Jedi.

But… it made sense.

Like Rey said, he had been trained by Luke Skywalker. And, hell, he was the last of the legendary Skywalkers. 

Technically, there was no-one better suited to teaching a new generation of Jedi.

But did he want to?

The Jedi Code had never really been his forte. He was too emotional, and he never could find that blasted serenity his uncle had worn like a cloak.

Rey seemed to sense the direction of his thoughts. Switching to the bond, she said, _Look, I know this is a surprise. But I really think you’ll be good at it. And we don’t have to do things exactly the same way the old Jedi did – parts of the Code don’t feel right to me, either. If you’re willing to give it a try, we can figure out a better way together._

He took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. His mother’s face floated in front of his eyes, and he heard her voice clear as a bell in his mind: _“Everyone makes mistakes, Ben. It’s part of life. What’s important is how you fix those mistakes.”_

“Okay,” he said aloud. “Okay, yeah, that makes sense. I’m willing to try.”

Rose was watching them thoughtfully. “That’s an excellent point, Rey,” she said. “If anything can sway Coruscant, it’ll be that.”

“But I’ll still have to answer to all my charges, won’t I?” he guessed.

Rose nodded, her expression still thoughtful. “But you have a solid reason for them to let you walk free. Now you just need to figure out a way to prove that what you did wasn’t so awful it can’t be forgiven.”

“I don’t know if that’s possible,” he admitted. “I did some pretty terrible things.”

“But you also did a lot of good,” Rey countered. “And most of the charges they’ll press are false. For instance, you didn’t kill Master Skywalker or any of his apprentices.”

“You didn’t?” Rose asked, surprised.

Ben shook his head. “A storm set the temple on fire _after_ I left.”

Interest sharpened Rose’s gaze. “Is there any way to prove that?”

Ben started to shake his head again, but stopped, thinking about it. “Well, if we can access the records of the hangar bay I left from, we should be able to prove I was gone before the fire started.”

Rose beamed. “Then you know where to start.” 

Ben smiled back. “I guess we do.”

As she and Rey left for the meeting, he recognised the feeling that had started to tingle in his stomach.

_Hope._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Thank you very much for reading, guys, and thank you a thousand times for your patience. I hope to see you again in a few weeks with the next chapter.**


End file.
